At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
