I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When are your genitals available?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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