her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
