Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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