I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
