Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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