so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
