so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
