whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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