no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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