we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
