PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
