K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
