Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
More tranny stories later!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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