Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
