No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
