Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
