hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
