thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
