I'm so fucking centered right now
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize