My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
