i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
