he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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