but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize