ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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