I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
