Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
