I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
