I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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