I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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