Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
