Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
