I should be sponsored by Trojan
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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