i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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