Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
