I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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