Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
