she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
