why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
