Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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