flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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