So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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