He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
