I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
