It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
