my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
