I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
