Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
