You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
