I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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