I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Acid is not a monday night drug
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
