If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Randomize
