if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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