I like to think it a success when the cops are called
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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