Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We left the knife in your bed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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