a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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