I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
