Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
