Your mouth is God's brothel.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
