Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
