Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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