(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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